A Thought on Conditioning
After being related a story by a friend just back from a rather intense family Thanksgiving visit, I loaned her a favorite book of mine, What Do You Say After You Say Hello?, by Eric Berne, MD. If you’ve ever wondered why people do the things they do, check out this book. It’s a pretty easy read, given it’s a text for psychoanalysts.
So, what is it that you say after you say hello? It depends on what you’re trying to get from any given interaction. Berne outlines the scripts people live, and shows how we’re conditioned by our early home environments to perform certain roles.
SO, then, again: conditioning. The roles we play aren’t indicative of our true natures. An astrological birth chart is a map of possibilities, and two major factors determine which sets of realities we create from those possibilities: conditioning and free will.
Our free will is often, by our beliefs of what’s possible, shaped by that conditioning. Okay, so I’m really saying that it’s often not even two factors that determine what reality we’ll create; there are times when it’s all about conditioning.
Last week I gave a talk on a new view of spirituality in the birth chart. When dealing with any issue, including spirituality, key is a client’s conditioning. Regarding matters of spirit, we have to look not only at Neptune/Pisces/12th house, but also Jupiter/Sagittarius/9th house to understand the conditioning surrounding belief. We have to look at the asteroid Lucifer (1930) to understand the conditioning around a person’s relationship with the idea of and the reality of the existence of a higher power. We have to look at the asteriod Arjunsuri (20300) to understand the person’s relationship with his or her own conscience (whose voice/authority is considered the ultimate authority?). The picture is pretty complex when you get deeply into any individual chart, but it all comes down to conditioning.
As long as we’re on the subject, I’ll note that every interaction you have with your family and those with whom you’ve been close for a long time, offer the opportunity to see your conditioning. If you’re someone who has difficulty dealing on some level dealing with family/where you came from and yet are going back for upcoming holiday festivities of some sort or other, see if you can catch yourself in however you want to react to any stressful situations and hold up a second. Wait a minute, and instead of reacting how you perhaps always have, make a different choice. That’s how you start breaking conditioning!
Brought to you by the “Down With Outmoded Conditioning” Committee, with additional support from the “Pluto in Libra ‘Can’t We All Get Along?’” Cabal.
Tom is available for spirit-guided karmic astrology readings. Contact him via his website.
November 25, 2007 By Tom Jacobs
Lilith’s Reality
From an e-mail written today about Lilith, to an individual very much living her themes:
to her, we’re not brains that exist to make money so we can make more brains so they can make more money to make more brains - we’re animals with souls, and desires to express the experience of that intersection in visceral ways that affect us and others viscerally. for her, reality is visceral and visceral is real.
November 14, 2007 By Tom Jacobs
The Call to Spirit II
Continuing the thread of my previous post on the call to Spirit, I’d like to offer some ideas about ways to work with anything relevant from that post that you might be working with.
When Mercury stations (appears to stand still as it readies to appear to change direction), the energy of the planet works differently than usual. It can feel like you’re at a cocktail party, amid the normal movement such places offer, yet there’s one person, in this case Mercury, standing across the room staring at you, immobile. There’s a focus the energy takes on because, in contrast to the normal bustle of everything that’s happening, it’s not moving. This can lend what feels like a strength to the energy, that I like to think of as a focused concentration.
In times when our mental energy works differently, or at a different speed than normal, there exists the opportunity to see things differently. In terms of the combo of Chiron and Neptune recently turning direct in Aquarius with this recent Mercury business in Libra, individuals have had the opportunity to grasp in a more-clear way the ahas and opportunities that have been coming through regarding the call to Spirit.
If these posts speak to you at all, you’ve learned something new about, if not how you fit into the fabric of the reality around you, that there is a fabric of reality around you.
Each of the three bodies I mention here, Neptune, Chiron and Mercury, have something to offer about the existence of multiple layers of what we call reality. Neptune is our personal doorway to other realms, Chiron adds a psychological and emotional sensitivity layer onto our normal processing methods, and Mercury is the messenger - the only one in our inherited myths who can travel between the worlds. He’s the messenger, and all versions of Mercury (in various traditions) see him bearing messages between the worlds.
Many of us may not understand what’s happening when the lines between the worlds begin to blur. When approached in a way that allows the symbols to manifest on multiple levels, in multiple dimensions, astrology is a fabulous tool to help put into words and context the sorts of things that happen at these times. I’m talking when dreams are premonitions, when strangers or random newspaper headlines deliver urgent messages designed especially for you, when you begin having flashes of intuition of an unprecedented kind - when things start to get more serious because the sources of information seem not from this world.
But first things first: You have to understand that you’re not nuts. You’re simply having your view stretched or, if you prefer, your operating system upgraded. Making sense of what’s happening is not the first thing to do - grounding and rooting is. Get in your body, and learn to understand what your body is telling you in any given moment. If we’re living in our heads, it can be easy to forget that our bodies are the real-world tools of our living. If we’re out of sync with our bodies, we’re missing something critical about being alive. Get in your body, feel what’s going on there and you’re connecting mind and body. You’ll need both on the same page before you can begin to make sense of things.
Understanding and making the kinds of changes that can be called for when reality’s parameters seem to shift doesn’t happen overnight, and so I’m planning to give some blog space in the coming months to fleshing out different areas of what I seem to be calling the call to Spirit.
Tom is available for consultations and lessons. See http://tdjacobs.com for more information and to book a consultation.
By Tom Jacobs
Notes on the Myths We Live - Finding Ourselves in the Movies
I’m staying at friends’, catsitting. They have quite a collection of movies (each is Sun-Neptune), and I’m a movie lover (Neptune-Mercury-Moon in 2/3, sextile Venus-Pluto in 12). I found myself busier during the stay than I anticipated, so I didn’t watch dozens of the movies over the last few days as a non-reality-based part of me had dreamily anticipated.
When faced with choosing one to watch tonight, I’m reminded of some work I’m developing on the idea that we’re living myths. At different times in our lives we relate to and bring to the world different stories. What these are at any given time in a life can be identified simply and easily by looking at the characters and themes in stories and various media that appeal to us again and again.
As a Scorpio, you might be able to guess that stories of transformation appeal to me. I like action flicks, indie stuff and I like some historical drama and musicals/opera, but stories of characters in deep transformation in any genre really do it for me. And they have for years. I haven’t sat down to work out all the dates, but so far Pluto’s transited to conjunct most of my chart, as Pluto at 3 Libra begins a stretch from the 12th to the 3rd that contains all my major planets but Saturn. It began with Venus-Pallas in the 12th, then Ascendant, then Mars-Uranus-Ceres in the 1st (all these but Ceres in Libra, with Ceres in Scorpio), and then Neptune-Mercury-Moon in Sagittarius in the 2nd-3rd. So, I’ve had plenty of opportunity to Plutonify various aspects of myself (or, um, have various parts of me injected/flooded with Pluto), and these stories of transformation are what I relate to. It seems my personal norm, I suppose.
While I’ll never be done, but as the same particular stories appeal to me again and again, I can tell that I’m in a particular phase of this business. I’m comfortable sharing some of the history (though I might not spill all the current choices): for a long, long time, my favorite movie was David Lynch’s Dune. “The sleeper must awaken!” came through as a kind of anthem to the part of me that was trying to come through. And pretty abruptly, I note, when I began taking channeling class and incorporating work with Spirit into my readings, Dune was no longer my favorite - someone had indeed awoken.
Tom is available for consultations and lessons. See http://tdjacobs.com for more information and to book a consultation.
November 10, 2007 By Tom Jacobs
Scorpio New Moon: Conjunct true Black Moon Lilith, opposing Rx Arjunsuri-Ceres
The new Moon at 3:03 PM Pacific time at 17 Scorpio is conjunct true Black Moon Lilith, at 13 Scorpio, and opposing Arjunsuri and Ceres, both retrograde in Taurus at 18 and 16, respectively.
For starters, some basic thoughts on Lilith can be found here and here.
With Lilith conjunct the new Moon, we’re talking about the probably-buried suspicion of your true, raw, animal nature that has an “in” to your more-conscious feeling nature at this time. The period that’s beginning with this new moon includes what could be considered an invitation to you to admit, if you haven’t done so already, that Lilith exists within you. She can appear in many different forms, but I suspect you’ll notice yourself wanting to edit an honest and sort of raw response to something in the moment because you’re clear that it’s socially unacceptable. And because you’re either not sure of what heinous response you’d get, or unwilling to get the kind of heinous response you know you’d get. And yet new Moon energy is about, in a sense, trial and error - stepping into experience without knowing precisely what we’re doing or where it’s going; forgiving ourselves for learning through experience and, thereby, risking pain and failure.
By house and sign, you can get a flavor for the ways in which you experience (and refuse to experience) Lilith in your life. With this energy conjunct the new moon, however, the opportunity for any of us is to allow more of our real natures time and space in our lives. Forget for a minute the details of any of Lilith’s stories that you may be familiar with - forget the subject matter of her experience for a moment, in other words - and understand that the edgy side of your animalness and it’s natural presence in you is what’s in question.
I’m not advising you to turn on the faucet of inexplicable crazy that you might think, or might have heard, is the key to Lilith energy. The fear that it’s too much to look at and deal with is what keeps it too much to look at and deal with, and so being willing to open to the energy and see that there are indeed parts of us that are kept far from the light of day may be more important than freaking out with suppressed anger, etc. - but it really just depends on what’s on tap for you right now.
Arjunsuri (asteroid 20300) opposing the new moon is a statement about the need to check the Scorpio intensity of expression with some Taurus grounding in the why we’re doing what we’re doing, specifically in being clear on whose voice we honor when we open up our personal Scorpio floodgates of feeling and get all Scorpio with ourselves or others. That the asteroid is retrograde suggests that revisiting our motivation for what we do (whose agenda are we supporting) is part of the question the moment asks. It’s conjunct retrograde Ceres, adding to the question of the moment a note on defining ourselves by the roles we perform for others. And this happens in Taurus, the sign of self-reliance.
Tying this all together, we’re looking at the opportunity to ask ourselves if the depths we’re either passionate about exploring or adamant about hiding (/hiding from) are informed by what we think about what we need to take care of ourselves, or what we’ve been told about what we need to take care of ourselves.
When the Sun’s in Scorpio, we’re always confronted with issues of where and how we meet others in the tight spaces of intimate relating. Scorpio’s the energy of wanting to penetrate another (person, thing, idea) in order to experience what it’s like to be it, which is to say be one with it. The conjunction of Lilith with the new moon and the opposition of Rx Arjunrsuri/Rx Ceres invites us to take a step toward deeper understanding of how we invite, create, recognize and interact in those tight spaces of intimacy - whose passion? whose desire? whose ideas of appropriateness? whose agenda?
This can manifest in our lives in many forms. Sex and sexuality are not the only playing grounds of Scorpio. Naked, absolute honesty is an area associated with Scorpio energy, as is removing the veneers of anything to see what’s happening below the surface. And it can of course come in the domain of shared material resources, but that’s often just a red herring for the issues of honesty and truth that’re behind all such transactions/interactions.
That said, those who are open to anything that might come up will in all likelihood see in themselves conditioning surrounding sexuality. In the ways that you understand yourself as a sexual being, one tack goes, what kinds of programming do you carry about what to do with that? What about how to do it? And as long as I’m throwing the “w” questions out there: With whom, why and when? (This could almost be another long post by itself, but, briefly: If you have control-based rules about whom you love, what it takes for you to love them, and what conditions make it okay for you/give you a green light to love, there’s an opportunity to sort out which of those rules are inherited/absorbed as a result of your conditioning and which are of your own design & manufacture, and which from each category are worth keeping and maintaining.)
This is happening on my Sun-Lucifer-Juno conjunction in my 2nd house, so I’m off to ask myself the hard version of the questions I so casually typed out for you above…
Tom is available for consultations and lessons. See http://tdjacobs.com for more information and to book a consultation.
November 9, 2007 By Tom Jacobs
Mars Stationing Retrograde: A Life of Have-tos
As Mars stations over the next week (going Rx on 11/15), you have the opportunity to see how you might have let your life become a series of have-tos that has eclipsed how you’d really like it to go. Mars goes and does, and cannot be held down, and yet we each make lives based in commitments to ourselves and others.
The planet of desire and motivation, of initiating new things, is going to retrograde in the sign of Cancer, the sign of needs, nurturing, rootedness and connectedness. It’s time to check in with yourself about the direction of your life, and how you feel about it. While Saturn is the one that does the sustained heavy lifting, Mars is the one that gets us instinctually pointed in one direction or another. During the retrograde, you get the chance to see if the directions you picked at various times to point yourself in are still working.
As it stations, become aware of whatever arena in your life offers the most Marsy tension. The house Mars is transiting will offer a vocabulary for this. In the 3rd house? Where does what you think, hear and say get you? Are you so invested in communicating something that you’ve lost sight of something you have to say that’s truly important? The 7th? How is your style of relating creating relationships that don’t serve you? What corners of the “boundaries” and “equality” conversations can you clear the cobwebs out of and be clear about your intentions and needs, and assert them with another? The 9th? How does the big idea that you use to run your life not fit in with the reality of the present moment and your need to participate in it? How does what you want differ from what you think you want?
Mars on one level is our instinctual response. During the retrograde the energy is turned inward, so it’s the time for retooling the pointer sense, not necessarily charging ahead with new directions. Give yourself time and space to gain perspective on your Marsing; see how you currently use your drive and what response from you the moments of the present (as opposed to the pasts when you set yourself on the directions you’re now headed in) are asking for.
During the retrograde period (11/15-1/30/08), allow yourself space to gain clarity on where your efforts have been getting you, and what kind of new directions might be called for. I invite you to see if you can view any frustration about Mars issues over the coming months as needed information for you as you unfold yourself along your journey. It can be easy to feel that since we’ve been headed in the “wrong direction,” that we’ve wasted time. This retro period offers the opportunity to shift where we’re putting our energy, and if you can remember that whatever it is, “it’s all part of the show,” you’re in a much better position to progress with what you’re learning without a lot of self-inflicted bruising, metaphorical or otherwise.
Tom is available for consultations and lessons. See http://tdjacobs.com for more information and to book a consultation.
November 8, 2007 By Tom Jacobs
Transit Lab: Mercury Retro Stationing on Mars-Uranus
This is on my Mars-Uranus in the 1st, as I mentioned in a recent post. The station is on the midpoint, and is square my nodes. I’ve found myself in a situation in which the only soluton for me is to assert my independence and leave (Mars-Uranus/1st), and stop sticking around in a group in order to “raise the vibration” of those less experienced than me (the pull to Cancer/10th house South Node).
It’s been difficult to sort through the layers of competing desires and perceived needs, but with Merc retro I knew that sitting down and being quiet, and jotting things out in my journal would help with some clarity. During these retro periods, there always exists a new door to understanding and clarity open to those willing to be a little more patient than usual, and to slow down and look at things differently.
I know that when anyone is more skilled or has a deeper understanding of something, there is the opportunity to help others. And yet in this situation, it became clear to me that the greatest use of my energy is in using it in the way that speaks to me the loudest. I was entertaining going back to this group and today I just really, truly, actially get it: Mars-Uranus in the 1st has to be listened to.
As you might expect from this combo, there’ve been some strong reactions along the way. I reacted harshly to the reality of not being heard - my Venus-Pluto in Libra/12th has a great investment in fairness, that the Mars-Uranus in Libra/1st can come to react against when push feels like it’s coming to shove. In short, some folks have decided who I am and what I’m about, and are unable to hear me as I am. As a consequence, it’s become impossible to communicate with them in the present - they parrot their incorrect versions of my position back to me repeatedly as a defensive measure because they’ve decided I’m not listening (though I’ve acknowledged and supported their position repeatedly), and it’s come to be too much for me to be willing to persist in dealing with.
I’m just sitting here with my journal open in front of me, just jotting away like crazy to get to the core of the issue. Wish me luck.
Tom is available for consultations and lessons. See http://tdjacobs.com for more information and to book a consultation.
November 1, 2007 By Tom Jacobs