Transit Lab: Venus square Neptune

Venus stationing in early Virgo is squaring my Sagittarius Neptune. Any surprise that I’m dreaming again and again about a recently-ended relationship?

I began more noting of dreams a few weeks ago, but I’m not feeling like writing these down. A tired part of me insists it’s hard enough without that.

This afternoon, though, I dreamed I’d scheduled something I’ve joked about repeatedly in my absurd fiction: having my face removed.

Surgically, I mean - this is Virgo, after all. Totally above board, too - I know better than to do that kind of thing at home - who do you take me for?! I scheduled an appointment with, you know, one of those professional face removers. It was a big step, and I was really looking foward to it. Mostly because of the overall changes to my life it signified. It had never really been my face, I’d figured out, had never been the face I would grow and show if I’d had anything to do with it. And removing it was a sure step in the direction of getting closer to who I really am underneath it, the Tom who didn’t get a chance to manifest because of this other outer face. I hadn’t told anyone but those directly involved, keeping it close to myself because I didn’t know how it would turn out and thought that blabbing about it to everyone wouldn’t serve any useful purpose. This face removal was for me, not for anyone else.

Toward the end of the dream some second thoughts made their way into my mind, specifically in worry that there’d been no plan generated to replace my face. With less than a week to go before the big day, I realized that the viscera below my facial skin would be exposed to the open air. Whoa, I realized, that might hurt. And even if the hurt kind of goes away or whatever after a few months, I’ll still have to be careful about stuff and air coming in contact with it.

If you’re a smarty, you’ve probably already dipped into the metaphor of face removal as a revealing of true self. The face as a mask and all that. But as someone with a Libra rising, I just know that there’s no such thing as living without a mask. All that’s underneath is the goo and gunk of the biological processes that make us up, and no one wants to go around flashing that to everyone. Everyone’s wearing such a face because that’s what we do.

I think I’m being facetious.

Wait. Yes.

No.

Yes, I am.

No, this was one of those run-of-the-mill dreams about having my face removed.

I know you have them all the time, admit it.

But at the end of the dream, I caught a look at my face in the mirror, noticing certain things about my face that indicated something about my true nature underneath it. You know the way you can see the lines of the cranium itself underneath the outer visage, if you know what to look for - how muscle and skin overlay the skull itself? I had a moment of inspiration from the thought of finally seeing what’s under this wrong face, this face that someone else gave me.

And now I know can cancel the surgery or let it stand. I know I’ll adjust to the pain of having all that air touch my wet & pulsating viscera. Part of me knows it’ll all be all right. In the sober hands of trained professionals and all that.

Though I do wonder if this stripping away will take place in a dream, and how much of a metaphor it might turn out to be.

Stay tuned.

http://www.tdjacobs.com

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July 21, 2007 By Tom Jacobs